Posts Tagged "east village"

Weird Things I Saw in the Park Today

Today is the first day I’ve worn jorts all year, which means it was the first rill rill day of spring. I hung out in the park in the sunshine for two hours and saw so many fascinating things. My heart almost exploded with love for my neighborhood and all of the bizarre creatures in it.

  1. An old lady crying and hugging some teenagers. She was sitting on a bench with her granny cart and a big suitcase. She might have been homeless or just an eccentric hoarder, I don’t know. Three teenaged basketball players brought her a comforter in a recycled Duane Reade bag. She started crying and hugged each of them. They hugged her back and said, “We love you too, ma’am.” It was super sweet and I wanted to hug them, too / it restored my faith in humanity.
  2. A couple arguing about ham getting advice from the aforementioned old lady. An arguing couple sat down on the bench next to me. They were fighting about ham and how she told her friends all about how he gets upset when she buys ham (oh god sometimes I am so glad to be single). The kooky old lady started lecturing them and asking the guy what he’s going to promise his girlfriend because she is so beautiful and natural.
  3. A guy barfing. A teenager sitting on a bench casually leaned over and puked about a gallon onto the ground while a girl held his hand.
  4. A guy with a ton of face tattoos. A middle-aged bald guy with tattoos covering his entire face and head was just sitting in the dog park, wearing cargo shorts, watching his dog.
  5. A herd of joggers wearing horned Viking helmets. Some of them were also wearing tutus.
  6. A bunch of old men playing salsa music on some giant bongos. Other people danced and clapped and joined in.
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Fell in love with this tiny wolfpuppy at the dog park today

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Oh, me? I live at 542 East Ratchet Street.

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Charming East Village tableau in front of my apartment. #couch #dirtysnow #turd

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If I don’t fall and break my neck in front of my apartment, it will be a goshdang miracle…

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I’m pretty embarrassed that I glanced at this photo in New York Magazine several times before I realized it’s directly in front of my apartment. Like, right outside my bedroom window. You can even faintly see the creepy-ass dolls that the lady across the street from me has in her front windows all the time.

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I’m not going anywhere, windowsill.

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Happy holidaze.

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So cool, teeny paintings on MetroCards.

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Teeny lobster bake dogs. (at Tompkins Square Park Dog Run)

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About

Woodland Creature

woodlandcreature
Alyssa is from the woods of Connecticut, lives in New York City's East Village and works in tech PR at a digital agency in Brooklyn. It's safe to assume she's always at least half-joking.

Hate mail, bad PR pitches and offers of riches can be sent to woodlandcreatureblog at gmail.

These opinions are hers alone and do not reflect the views of her employer, clients or mom. Nobody pays her to write about products or gives her free stuff, but it'd be cool if they did.

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