Woodland Creature

Why Men Don't Fancy Funny Women

Research to be published this week in a leading academic journal confirms what many female comics - and funny women - have long suspected: men are frightened by their brand of humour. While men might chuckle at the odd gag, when it comes to finding a long-term companion they do not want a partner who will fire a stream of witty repartee at them, according to the study carried out by academics at some of the world’s top universities….

Hundreds of men and women in their twenties were questioned. Asked if they found a sense of humour to be attractive in women, most men said yes. But when they were asked if they would want to be with a woman who cracked jokes herself, the answer was a resounding no….

More than half the men who took part in the survey revealed that a witty woman was not what they were looking for in a partner. Dr Martin said the findings suggested that men see themselves as the ones who should be delivering the lines and feel threatened by humorous women….

The research project, which also involved academics from the University of Massachusetts and McMaster University, Ontario, showed that while men were not so interested in “humour-producing women” in long-term relationships, they showed a preference for such types when it came to short-term relationships and one-night stands.

So thaaaaat explains it…

(And, yes, I’m aware this article was published six years ago and I probably already missed the online commenter outrage shitstorm but, still, ugh. I have a lot more to say about this but I don’t feel like getting all riled up on a Sunday evening.)

The ‘N’ Words For Women: Need and Needy

As a culture, we often remind women that being “needy” is a cardinal sin in relationships. No shortage of articles in women’s magazines write about how being “needy” is a sure-fire way to end up single and lonely.

But what does this word, “needy” really mean anymore? Are we lumping together a woman’s basic needs with the idea of “needy,” which so often refers to someone displaying stalker-like behavior?

The needy descriptor also seems to be used against women when they are looking for clarification on the status of a romantic relationship.

Kari, 32, has faced scenario in a former relationship with her now ex-boyfriend, “We had been casually dating for 4 months, and I decided that I needed to understand where all this was headed. I am not getting any younger and I need more stability.”

When Kari asked the guy she was with, where he thought things were headed, he immediately responded “What I do know is that I don’t want a needy girlfriend.”

Kari was left feeling frustrated. “I am in limbo–in this borderless relationship and he got to make me feel like some desperate woman because I am interested in being an adult? It’s ridiculous.”

The word needy has been transformed into a slur, an insult we use to delegitimize a woman’s needs and concerns, making them think twice before asking for what they need–if they ask at all.

But why isn’t the word “needy” ever really used against men? In my mind, it goes back to the start of this column, men are conditioned to expect their needs to be met. So when a guy is demanding any sort of clarity about a relationship, we never see his demands as desperate or needy, because we think it’s perfectly acceptable for a guy to expect his needs to be fulfilled.

All the Single Ladies

Some fascinating facts from this compelling article from The Atlantic:

• Today, 40 percent of children are born to single mothers. 

• 2010 was the first time in American history that women made up the majority of the workforce. 

• Siberia is suffering such an acute “man shortage” (due in part to massive rates of alcoholism) that both men and women have lobbied the Russian parliament to legalize polygamy.

• In societies where men heavily outnumber women—in what’s known as a “high-sex-ratio society”—women are valued and treated with deference and respect and use their high dyadic power to create loving, committed bonds with their partners and raise families. Rates of illegitimacy and divorce are low….When confronted with a surplus of women, men become promiscuous and unwilling to commit to a monogamous relationship….In societies with too many women, the theory holds, fewer people marry, and those who do marry do so later in life.

• Fifty percent of the adult population is single, compared with 33 percent in 1950.

• When honeymoons first started, in the 19th century, the newlyweds brought friends and family along for the fun.

2011 Great Male Survey Results

Fun facts about American men from AskMen.com’s survey of 70,000 dudes:

• 30% don’t want to get married
• 34% won’t bother pursuing a woman they can’t see themselves marrying
• 48% would dump their girlfriend if she got fat
• 23% “have no sex life” (tough break, bro)
• 49% have lied about the number of sex partners they’ve had
• 55% think it’s okay to pay for sex, for one reason or another
• 42% think a woman becomes “promiscuous” when she’s slept with her 10th partner, while 30% think she does once her number hits 20
• 37% think women start losing their looks at age 40, while 14% think it’s all downhill from age 30
• 50% wouldn’t date a woman with kids
• 29% would punch his boss in the face, if he knew he could get away with it, and 48% would punch a colleague
• 53% would rather have a son than a daughter
• 26% think it’s okay to sext with someone else while in a relationship

Would You Rather Date A Finance Guy Or A Musician?

Having dated both, finance bros all the way. I am not ashamed.