I know she’s not considered conventionally attractive and they only say it because we both have large schnozzes and reddish-brown hair, but I kinda like when people tell me I look like Sofia Coppola. She does her own thing and it works.
You’re not fooling anyone, Gwyneth. We all know that turtleneck probably costs $1,600 and was knit from the fur of the finest free-range chinchillas. And that you’d never be caught dead wearing lavender, if your publicist hadn’t forced you to appear on the cover of Good Housekeeping in an effort to convince middle America that you’re not an obnoxious, stuck-up bitch.
I am trying to decide who the randomest person in this video is. Steve Guttenberg? Tonya Harding (love the T-shirt, by the way)? Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Ivan Drago from Rocky IV? Theo Huxtable? A mentally-disturbed college professor whose name happens to be Judd Nelson, but who can’t possibly be the same Judd Nelson from The Breakfast Club? The lady from Top Gun? Milli effing Vanilli (you’d think he could have taught the rest of them to lip-synch a little more convincingly)? Dee Snyder? Right Said Fred? The Hulk?
This is just a bad dream I had after watching too many VH1 countdowns, right?