26 Apr
Text Messages from Yo Momma
Me: A dog nipped me but didn’t break the skin. Can I still get rabies?
Mom: Wash your leg if you can.
Me: Uhh, it’s not my leg, it’s my chin. I have, like, a dog hickey on it.
Mom: Haha what kind of dog?
Me: A teeny dachshund wearing a hat, wig and sunglasses. It looked so harmless.
Mom: He’s probably pissed someone dressed him up.
