June 2010
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I Am a Hopeless Mess
Things I did in the past half-hour:
1. Realized I splashed salad dressing on my boob during lunch and had to change my dress.
2. Smudged my brand new pedicure.
3. Found a bug in my bed (WTF?!) and killed it. A weird one, that looks kind of like a tick with a hard crunchy shell.
4. Tried to find a Band-Aid that will stick to the blister on the bottom of my heel…and failed. Apparently...
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A Squirrel Story
Yesterday, I was walking on West 4th Street when suddenly a squirrel and a tile of some sort came falling from above, bypassing by face by about 5 inches. In a frenzy, I ran away, looking back to see it had fallen on its back, its little legs a-scurrying in the air; the tile had broken in two pieces. In the moment, I wished it dead so that I wouldn’t feel compelled to do anything for...
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What Happens When My Mom's Out of the Country
Me: Why don't you have your cell phone with you?
Dad (on his best friend's cell phone): It's in the car. I'm on the boat. I'll turn it on when I get to the dock, then turn it off when I get home.
Me: The point is to keep it ON, and with you, at all times! What if I get hit by a taxi and I'm dying in the street?
Dad: If you're dying in the street, you call 911.
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FWD Thinking: What Moms Like to See from Companies... →
A recent study surveyed over 500 moms about what they like and don’t like about brands that tweet, and the results are great to keep in mind when thinking about Twitter best practices.
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Icelander’s Campaign Is a Joke, Until He’s Elected →
A polar bear display for the zoo. Free towels at public swimming pools. A “drug-free Parliament by 2020.” Iceland’s Best Party, founded in December by a comedian, Jon Gnarr, to satirize his country’s political system, ran a campaign that was one big joke. Or was it?
Last month, in the depressed aftermath of the country’s financial collapse, the Best Party emerged as the biggest...
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No Sex Please, We're Middle Class →
Has Camille Paglia not listened to music in, like, the past decade?
Country music, with its history in the rural South and Southwest, is still filled with blazingly raunchy scenarios, where the sexes remain dynamically polarized in the old-fashioned way.
I have pretty much never heard a “blazingly raunchy” country song, unless “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy”...
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But That Never Happened to Carrie
I was sitting in Tompkins Square Park this afternoon when three loud, obnoxious 20-something girls sat down on the bench next to me. You know the type — the ones who move to New York because they want to be “just like on Sex and the City!” They were apparently here to see apartments and one of them, a blonde in a super-short romper, kept talking to real estate brokers on her cell...
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5 Things I Do Not Care About
The iPhone 4
The World Cup
Wimbledon
The NFL draft (let’s just say “sports” in general)
Twilight
This news cycle is insufferable. I am a curmudgeon.
[Update: Adam kindly informed me that I actually meant the NBA draft. See?! That is how little I know/care about it!]
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“The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and...”
– David Foster Wallace (via elisehelene)
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“[Bill Murray] doesn’t employ the services of personal publicists, managers and...”
– “Bill Murray: The Man Who Knew Too Much”
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Wimbledon 2010 Live Blog →
I have no interest whatsoever in tennis, but this is a masterpiece. Some choice bits:
Under the feet of John Isner and Nicolas Mahut, the grass is growing. Before long they will be playing in a jungle and when they sit down at the change of ends, a crocodile will come to menace them.
In order to stay upright and keep their strength, John Isner and Nicolas Mahut have now started eating...
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FWD Thinking: Mobile Internet Begins at Home →
Although most of the messaging about mobile devices these days is about convenience on the go, it turns out that 60% of mobile Web usage actually takes place right at home.
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Black bear spotted several times and then struck... →
WILTON — A possibly injured black bear is on the loose in Wilton and police are asking for the public’s help in locating it this morning. Two sightings were called in to Wilton police before 7 a.m. Wednesday morning and on the third phone call to police the bear struck a car and ran into the woods. According to police, the first sighting, at approximately 6 a.m., was in the...
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The Runaway General →
The Rolling Stone profile of Gen. Stanley McChrystal that everyone’s buzzing about is, indeed, a fascinating read. Please consider for a moment that these are the people who are running our country — people whose favorite movie is Talladega Nights.
Some of my favorite parts:
“Who’s he going to dinner with?” I ask one of his aides.
“Some French...
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Fine, Don't Fucking Hire Me, You Can't Handle My... →
SHIT I HAVE DONE -I invented the moon. -Atlantis was around til 1988, but sunk when I shot out of my mom’s vagina like a silver bullet into a wolverine. -I am also a wolverine. -Had sex with the Spice Girls. -The blowjob machine was originally my idea until that bastard Clint Eastwood stole it. -I have prophetic visions of the apocolypse. -Watched the movie “Juwanna...
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Costa Rica - Day Five (5/10/10)
The hotel we stayed at in Monteverde had no public computers available for use, which sucked because my terrible Dell netbook inexplicably crapped out as soon as we arrived in Costa Rica. Luckily, there was an Internet cafe within walking distance, except in this case, “Internet cafe” meant “place with five old rickety computers, only one of which actually works.” It...
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“I know I won the lottery of life by having loving, caring parents.”
– Nicholas Kristof
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