April 2010
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“If [my reputation for being difficult] keeps obnoxious people away, that’s...”
– Bill Murray
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1,000 Things You Don't Know About Women →
No. 6: You don’t need to be handy. If you can’t put up a ceiling fan in under four hours, man up and hire someone else to do the job. We’d much rather meet you at a bar than watch you curse a box or kick a screw across the floor. —Kirsten Hall, 35, New York
Hire someone? Pssh. I will install your air conditioner, fix your garage door opener and then make fun of you. Please...
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Trntbl.me/woodlandcreature →
A very eclectic playlist of all the songs I’ve posted here on Tumblr.
one forty plus.: Twitter Isn't "Over", I'm Over... →
Last week in Los Angeles I participated in a live Q&A as part of an ASCAP expo on songwriting. When the topic of Twitter came up, I explained my waning interest in it being part of my daily life. By no means do I think it’s over as a medium altogether, but I do think that the days of “Twitter: The…
Not gonna lie, I kind of love that John Mayer is all about Tumblr. Sometimes I feel...
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On First Impressions
Lately, I’ve been asking my friends about their first impressions of me, if they even remember. So far I’ve gotten “jaded” and “unimpressed,” probably because when I feel nervous or awkward, I tend to look around a lot and make this face without even realizing it. Well, great. I’m glad my friends stuck it out instead of just assuming I was an asshole, but...
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“Your eyes send a message. And they say, ‘Don’t fuck with me.’”
– Yuna
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Different Types of Faces I Describe People As...
Oldface
Bitchface
Gayface
Methface
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Sometimes I Am the Luckiest Person Alive
Today at brunch, Yuna and I got to talking about how glad we were that we’ve never lost our cellphones. I knew it was a bad idea, because way to jinx ourselves, but I said “knock on wood” just in case. After brunch, I went for a stroll through Union Square because it was such a glorious day out, and I stopped by Barnes & Noble to go to the bathroom (pro tip: best public...
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10 Toys I Had in the '90s
10. Gak [commercial] Gak was probably the most pointless “toy” ever made - like Silly Putty, but grosser. You couldn’t really do anything with it except, like, poke it. I had the pickle-scented version (I don’t know whose great idea that was), and it was so gross that I threw it away after a few days. 9. Flash Screen Nickelodeon made some pretty lame toys that...
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Watchmbooth:
There’s a huge, 10-story billboard outside our offices, on the side of a building at the corner of 23rd Street and Park Avenue, that’s repainted by hand every month or so to feature an ad for a new movie. The current ad, for Sex and the City 2, features a larger-than-life Carrie Bradshaw, looking very Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.
Several of us have wondered how exactly these painters...
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“A man caring about how he looks is usually trying very hard to be attractive,...”
– Andy Warhol
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“Funny people are the only people I ever get really interested in, because as...”
– Andy Warhol
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Preferred Gender Terms
The terms “man” and “woman” make me feel uncomfortable, for some reason. They seem so clinical, like they’re straight out of a middle-school health class discussion. I didn’t realize how rarely I use those words in conversation until I referred to one of my colleagues as a “girl” the other day. The guy I was talking to was shocked, because in his...
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Google Search Terms That Led People to My Blog
I love corn but hate corn on the cob
bib overalls
woodland creature costumes
zoobilee zoo
Chris Brown in leggings
hipster woodland creature obsession
is a hedgehog woodland creature?
jello east village sushi
let it hang out
razor-toothed piranhas
roommate burglar santa claus
snake wearing
sophia loren in glasses
the longest forwarded text message ever recorded
two headed chick
...
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“The High Road” - Broken Bells
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Birth of Organized Crime Walking Tour →
Every Saturday at 2:00pm, $25 This popular and exciting weekly tour, guided by Museum of the American Gangster co-founder, author and historian Eric Ferrara, thoroughly examines the roots of the Mafia in America: From the original Sicilian Black Handers and Neapolitan Camorra to the forming of the Mafia Commission in 1931 — this tour visits the homes, headquarters, hangouts of such...