April 2010
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10 Words I Overuse on a Regular Basis
Rando (noun): A random person, stranger.
Obese (adjective): Drastically overweight. Usually used in reference to my future self, as a result of my eating habits.
Shady (adjective): Suspicious.
Sketchball (noun): A shady person.
Hobo (noun): A homeless person, someone who resembles a homeless person.
Bootleg (adjective): Cheap, broken, ramshackle.
Bro (noun): A young adult male, usually of...
March 2010
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“I cannot even imagine what you would do to your children. It’d be like...”
– Sam
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Top Five Ways in Which I Am Mostly Likely to Die
Falling down a manhole while texting/e-mailing/Twittering on my BlackBerry
Getting run over while not watching where I’m going because I’m ogling a cute dog on the street
Being mauled by a wild animal that I tried to cuddle
Diabeetus, from too many cookies and cupcakes for breakfast
Heart attack, from high cholesterol developed as a result of too much macaroni and cheese and...
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On girls comparing themselves to Liz Lemon:
booyahgrandma:
I don’t really get it. Pretty much every girl I know who has brown hair, intelligence, a decent job, and a love of cheese has compared herself to Liz Lemon at some point. Maybe it’s just because there aren’t very many television characters that fit the same bill? And that is kind of disappointing.
Either way, I would like to state on the record that I am nothing like Liz Lemon. I...
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“I’d known since I was five…that I was going to live in New York eventually...”
– Nora Ephron
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1938 Dating Guide For Single Women
When a man dances, he wants to dance.
(via wawrtibm : pbh3)
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“Just Another Day” - Good Old War
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Stop Working Out, It's Embarrassing →
You people who exercise constantly and eat healthy? I cannot help but look down on you. If you only knew the pity I feel when I step out of a bar at twilight of a Friday night and look across the street to see a bunch of people running on treadmills in some pathetic attempt to live longer or land a mate…it’s absolutely tragic.
I’m glad someone said it…
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Driving Me Crazy - Sam Adams
Feeling pretty...
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WatchHAHAHA Stouffer’s mac and cheese for one is basically all I eat. It’s not a cry for help, I swear!
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“The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the...”
– Guinness World Records’ official phrase for text-messaging records…say what?
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The Other Side of the Tiger Woods Text Message... →
Hilarious…
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“This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise...”
– Walt Whitman (via kateoplis : barbara)
My dogma.
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