November 2010
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The Great Unwashed →
All I have to say about this article is, just because you don’t smell you doesn’t mean other people can’t smell you. Especially when their noses are pressed perilously close to your armpit on the subway. Also, I don’t understand the lady who doesn’t wear deodorant but wipes lemon slices on her pits instead. Isn’t it just easier to carry a stick of deodorant in...
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Things I Did Today
Slept
Ate a cheeseburger
Read
Blogged
See also: Things I’d Like to Do Every Day.
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October 2010
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Just A Theory →
daveholmes:
If you believe in a God who’s so involved in our affairs that he decides the outcome of football games, sends earthquakes to countries that practice religions he dislikes, and allows Mary J. Blige to develop self-esteem every two years, what if He made gay people too? And what if there were a reason for it? What if He’s making more of us now, so that we all breed less? Or so that...
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Why We Published the Christine O'Donnell Story →
Much of the criticism leveled against us is based on the premise that we think hopping into bed, naked and drunk, with men or women whenever one wants is “slutty,” and that therefore our publication of Anonymous’ story was intended to diminish O’Donnell on those terms. Any reader of this site ought to rather quickly gather that we are in fact avid supporters of...
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“Where I come from, it’s not a one-night stand unless you fill the Twinkie.”
– Jack Schafer on Slate
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Unavoidable Story of My Life
Me: Hi, I'm Alyssa.
Stranger: Nice to meet you, Melissa!
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Woman Who Can't Forget Amazes Doctors →
I kind of have this problem, but only with people. I’ve lived in New York for six years now and I feel like I encounter faces I recognize almost everywhere. I’m just walking the city streets like, “Oh, there’s a kid I went to high school with…I had a class with that guy during my freshman year at NYU…I think that girl was at one of my roommate’s parties...
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Eavesdropping on Two Ladies Talking About Carl...
Lady #1: Look at him! He's a vampire.
Lady #2: I don't think he's gonna win. He hates gay people! I think he gay hisself.
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Marie Claire Responds to "Fatties" Controversy →
Apparently, Marie Claire received 28,000 e-mails after its fat-bashing blog post yesterday, in addition to the public outrage across the internet. As expected, the writer has posted an apology, although it’s really more of an, “It’s not my fault, I was rexy!” excuse. Okay, so you have a mental illness that makes you think overweight people are disgusting. Other people have...
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Woman Sentenced For Murder With Plastic Bag →
This story made me so sad, I don’t even have the heart to make a joke about how there’s a convicted murderer out there named “Sparkle.”
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Should "Fatties" Get a Room? (Even on TV?) →
So anyway, yes, I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I’d find it distressing if I...
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Scarves Are Dangerous (Maybe)
The recent cooler temperatures have brought with them a new thing-that-gives-me-anxiety-but-shouldn’t: scarves. I have this really long scarf that I wrap around my neck a few times, with both ends hanging down to the sides. When I’m walking to and from work, I think about how an attacker could easily choke me to death by grabbing both ends and pulling. All I need now is a single news...
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“American scientific companies are crossbreeding humans and animals and coming up...”
– Christine O’Donnell, Republican genius
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The Day A Hot Dog And A Stick Of Butter Humped My... →
This is definitely in the running for one of my favorite headlines ever. I’m honored to be my friend Kelly’s “#1 resource for cuteness alerts, events, and news”!
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