October 2008
I don’t want to be a hater, but if this couple isn’t the grossest duo ever described in The New York Times’ Vows section, I don’t know who is. (I admit, part of the barfiness is due to the reporter’s puketastic purple prose.) Some choice tidbits:
“Her family has a ramshackle seaside cottage in Maine filled with water-stained furniture and damp books whose pages...
Why so many women want to remake their man's... →
I’ve done this (to some extent) to all my boyfriends, my brother and my dad, and they’ve all been better for it. They resisted, but once they finally decided to take my advice and heard all the compliments they got from everyone, they actually admitted I was right. The clothes really do make the man, my friends, and it’s amazing what a difference a few small changes can make.
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September 2008
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This does not sound like an effective strategy
Bob: drink a lot of alcohol, so then when the mosquito bites you it gets drunk and flies into the wall
Me: what?
Bob: and then you can stomp it
Bob: if you are drunk, then the mosquito sucks your blood, it will get drunk
Bob: and then it will probably die on its own
Bob: or become immobilized so you can stomp it
Me: so i have to get wasted on a sunday night just so i can kill a mosquito?
Bob: yes
Bob: its the only way
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A very cute song to listen to when you need to...
WatchAwww. This chipmunk speaks more intelligently than Sarah Palin!
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“With his new platform and renewed attention, Clay [Aiken] can show the world that a single gay man can be a great father. This is perhaps the most important thing he’ll ever do. In my mind, gay adoption is an issue more crucial than gay marriage, even, as it affects not only gay people but orphans, little babies and kids, whose miserable lives are denied the chance of improvement by...
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This is a lie. I'm also passionate about...
Billy: your problem is that you lack passion
Billy: unless its halloween related
“I, perhaps unconsciously, observe women to try and determine how they want to be...”
– “Lipstick Jungle” in The Wall Street Journal
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Fun Fact: Martha Stewart’s daughter Alexis sometimes refers to her as “Mothra.” hahahahaha
“The last time I spoke to David Wallace—who preferred to be called Dave, but I never quite could—was ten years ago, when I called him in his cabin in Bloomington, Illinois, from a pay phone at a halfway house for recovering drug addicts in Wilton, Connecticut.”
—Elizabeth Wurtzel in New York magazine
There is a halfway house for recovering drug addicts in my small...
“Have you heard of the book with the farting dog? It’s for kids, and there are pictures and everything. I’m going to buy it for you, because I know how you love farting things.”
— Mom
My thoughts exactly
“I’ve got a news blast for everyone: you ain’t getting out of here alive. Somethin’s gonna gitcha….To never eat butter, then have a truck hit me? Do you know how pissed off I’d be?”
—Paula Deen in the October Ladies’ Home Journal
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NYU Professor Stifles Blogging, Twittering by... →
I’m sure anyone who recently graduated from NYU with a degree in journalism (like myself) can relate to the plight of Alana Taylor. Very few students or professors I encountered there were familiar with blogs at all, unless Perez Hilton counts. Most faculty members seemed to believe that the only acceptable career path is the one they themselves took, even though that path has long since...
“I am not Charlie Kaufman or Sofia Coppola (much as I supplicate at their Cannes-weary feet.) I’m not Paul Thomas Anderson. I’m not even Paul W.S. Anderson. I am middle-class trash from the Midwest….I don’t deserve to be here. We’ve established that. But I’m here. Five million 12-year-olds think I’m Buck Henry. Accept it.”
—Diablo...
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Hej!
I am in an internet cafe in the Central Train Station, waiting for my cousin to get out of class. My legs are sooo tired and I already did enough damage to my wallet, which is why I’m chillin’ on the internetz. A nice lady gave me her card with all her extra minutes (almost an hour) so I’m technically surfing for free.
I wish I had my regular BlackBerry so I could take photos...
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Lost in Translation
So, I’m in Copenhagen! I feel pretty out of sorts. Although most people here speak English, most of the signs and directions are all in Danish. And Denmark folk do not value customer service like we Americans do, so they’re not exactly jumping to help. I bought a map but I’m sure I’m going to get lost today. Also, I took a cab for like 50 dollars by accident. Did not think...
Google Maps for Mobile Gets Street View, Walking... →
Yesss! I shall never get lost again! Ain’t technology great?
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Obama Deletes Another Unread MoveOn.org E-Mail →
Obama has deleted approximately 25 e-mails from MoveOn.org in the past two months. In addition, Obama’s junk folder contains nearly 60 messages from various MoveOn employees and members whose e-mail addresses Obama has previously flagged as spam. Perhaps most telling of his recent frustrations, Obama’s mail records confirm that, in April 2008, he replied to a MoveOn.org e-mail...
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MTV's 'Total Request Live' to conclude in November... →
TRL is DOA. I’m ashamed to admit that TRL was a huge part of my middle school experience. Tweens these days probably can’t even remember a time when everybody would watch TRL on TV after school while they talked to their friends on the cordless phone, and maybe even called in to vote for their favorite music videos. The really cool kids (not me) even went to visit the TRL studios when...
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“When you call us a bitch, we take it to mean strong, opinionated, and sassy....”
– Debi Mazar in Esquire
“Graffiti is very bad, dude. I’m angry about it, all the way to 100...”
– Christopher Nielsen, graffiti-hating 5-year-old
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So I’m leaving for Denmark tomorrow, and even though I’ll only be there a few days, I rented an international BlackBerry (my parents are paranoid/awesome and offered to foot the bill). I just set up my e-mail on it, and somehow an e-mail for someone else came through. I feel so weird reading it! It’s kind of sweet though.
From: Doug [redacted]
To: Dave [redacted]
Subject: Re:...