May 2008
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“If I punched every bitch who called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and...”
– Star Jones, who, like Chuck Norris, can apparently kill people with a single punch
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I'll Take That Shake Shack To Go, Please →
Yesss, Shake Shack is following me to Brooklyn!
Will I see the SATC movie?
payattention: My relationship with the SATC show is that I hate it, but I watch it all the time. It’s not so much that I hate the show itself, but I hate everyone else who likes it. I hate when girls my age compare their lives to the show and I hate that half of the girls I met at NYU probably just applied to the school so they could live in the city like Carrie Bradshaw. I will not go to see...
In "Sex and the City," number of sex partners true... →
Jennalise was talking about this article last night. The issue I have with it is that the Sex and the City series was supposed to be over the course of about six years. Which means that this isn’t their total number, just their number for six years of their lives. So if you figure their number-of-guys-per-year average stayed the same throughout their adult lives, their total numbers (with...
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That family smokes so much pot
Matthew McConaughey has a brother named Rooster. And Rooster named his son Miller Lyte. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
fifty things im glad i read about college. →
Now that I’m officially post-college, it was interesting to see this list. I wish I had thought more about #23, #25 and #36 when I was a freshman. But even if someone had told me those things at the time, I probably wouldn’t have listened. (via ardor)
Cheek it out: Plump smiles are the key to beauty,... →
This is the best news I’ve heard all day. I knew my chipmunk cheeks would someday come in handy for something other than storing acorns!
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The Great Pop vs. Soda Controversy →
I am obsessed with regional differences in the way people speak, so I love this site. These brilliant researchers have created a map of what Americans call their carbonated soft drinks: pop, soda or Coke. I live in hardcore “soda” country, and I’ve always wondered what those silly folks down south who refer to all soda as “Coke” say when they want an actual Coke.
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“An old lady who likes to go after younger guys. You know, for sex and things.”
– My dad, defining “cougar” for my mom
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I even get nagged (via text message) by other...
Texting mom: Did you ever call the Y back?
Me: Huh?
Texting mom: Did you call the y? He you want the job, you have to call. He's not gonna hunt You down
Me: I think you have the wrong number...
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“I washed these shirts, and I thought they were Lyssa’s, but they’re...”
– My mom, who now thinks her son is a cross-dresser because he shops at Express
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If you're going to butt in, at least make me feel...
Me: I'm going to get so fat this summer, with all the barbeques and ice cream I'll be eating.
Jennalise: Yeah, me too.
Eavesdropping guy: Please, you girls ain't gonna get fat! You could eat, like, two cakes!
Overheard on the Metro North train to New Haven
Girl: How old are you?
Guy: Honestly, or on my fake ID?
Girl: Honestly.
Guy: Eighteen. How old are you?
Girl: Thirty!
Guy: Whoa, cou-GAR!
Man who's had sex with 1000 cars gives new meaning... →
Uhhh, I have no words. Where do you find these freaks, Daily News??? I’m not even going to get into the mechanics (heh, get it?) of such an act…
WatchSex and the City on steroids…literally. These women look like really terrible Photoshopped photos come to life. And I’m sorry, but do not tell me the blonde “Samantha” one isn’t just a man in a wig.
Something to consider...
Texting while walking: sort of okay. Texting while walking…in Grand Central…at rush hour: the polar opposite of okay.
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“Longing for a golden age that never existed is just a trick that our elders use...”
– Sheila from Gawker
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