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I have had multiple dreams where I am reunited with my grandparents, my dad’s parents, who died when I was seven and 10. They appear again exactly how I last saw them but I’m the age I am now, as if they’ve been alive for the past two decades but I just haven’t seen them. I’m always stunned. “Where have you been?!” I ask but they don’t really answer. I’m half upset that they’ve been avoiding me for so long, but much more grateful that they’ve found me.
In one version, I visit their old house and watch my grandpa mow their overgrown lawn. In last night’s episode, I pulled out the old family photos I’ve been scanning lately and made my grandma go through them with me to explain the backstory of each as I took notes.
They left me before I got the chance to do this with them. Before I became a fully-formed human, really. I wonder how they would find me or even recognize me. My brother and I were their only two grandchildren. It’s so weird to think about all of that unconditional love just floating into the ether, escaping my grasp except in my dreams.